导演：赖宇晴
编剧：赖宇晴
主演：赖宇晴、任航
制片人：杨源、郑家瀛
摄影：Brian Nguyen
类型：剧情短片
时长：14分55秒
完成时间：2023
对白语言：汉语普通话、英语
地区：中国、美国
制片公司：天津九七雾文化传播有限公司

Director: Yuqing Lai
Screenwriter: Yuqing Lai
Cast: Yuqing Lai, Colin Ren Hang
Producer: Lily Yang, Janet Zheng
Cinematographer: Brian Nguyen
Genre: Narrative Short
Length: 14min55s
Year: 2023
Dialogue: Mandarin Chinese, English
Region: China, USA
Production Company: Foggy 97

在一场话剧排练中，一名跨性别男演员Frank试图解决自我认知和亲密关系之间的冲突。但在对女友Sinan再度失望之后，他又一次来到按摩店，寻求被尊重，被真正当作男性的感觉。 然而，在服务期间，他对女友的情绪和记忆却开始交织起来。

The story happens to Frank, a transgender actor and his girlfriend Sinan. Frank is dissatisfied that their relationship has been avoiding everyone. He goes to a massage place for comfort on his friend’s recommendation. After another stressful rehearsal, Sinan tries to comfort Frank, but he ignores. Frank revisits the massage place. During the body contact, Frank feels accepted as a normal man, but also remains in his intimate past with Sinan. He leaves and talks to Sinan with pain and love.

赖宇晴，她/他，原籍福建，出生于天津，并在加拿大和美国学习。她/他是一位演员、导演和音乐家，曾参与多部短片和长片的制作。她/他以创新和实验性的风格寻找并表达现实，以独特的方式呈现作品。凭借丰富多样的背景和创作经验，她/他的作品聚焦于酷儿、女性、爱情和现实生活。

Lai-Yuqing, she/they, originally from Fujian, was born in Tianjin and studied in Canada and the United States. She/They is an actor, director, and musician who has worked on several short and feature films. Her/Their unique approach to finding and expressing reality is through innovative and experimental genres. With diverse backgrounds and experience in creation and growth, her/their works focus on queer, women, love and real life.

剧场对我来说有一种特别的魔力。在这里充斥着想象和凝视。所有的感受在剧场都会被放大。而按摩店通常也代表着一种性别、阶级和权力的凝视。在这两个地方，人们用不同的方式表演，但在这场“戏”之下的情绪和人都比其他地方更加真实。

胶片的质感有别于电子化的现代社会，它通常也代表着一种更原始的样貌。就像影片中所提及的“理想自我”和“真爱”之间的冲突一样，来自原始的天性。

在我与一些跨性别朋友交流的时候，他们常会和我提及在手术之后经历的阶段，他们开始质问自己，“我到底想要成为什么样的男人？”激素治疗让他们的外在更加男性化，这达到了他们之前的目标。但他们开始面临新的困扰，“我要怎么与自己身上的女性气质相处？”这也是Frank和Sinan之间不能理解彼此的地方。

尽管我们拥有着不同的身份认知，但是因为爱和自我的矛盾而带来的无奈和伤感是共通的。

我们旨在探讨社会性别概念在爱情关系中的展现。

Theater has special magic for me. It is constructed by imagination and full of gaze. All feelings in the theater will be amplified. A massage place always represents gender, class and power. People in these two places perform different plays, but the emotions and people under the play are more real and profound than in other places.

The texture brought by film is separated from the current digital reality, and it is also the most original presentation of images. As the film emphasizes, “ideal self” and “true love” are primitive, direct and irreplaceable.

In my conversations with my transgender friends, they often go through a stage after undergoing gender reassignment surgery where they ask themselves, “What kind of man should I be?” Hormone therapy makes their appearance more masculine, fulfilling a past goal. However, they are now faced with a new problem: “How do I reconcile with my own femininity?” This is also the part where Frank and Sinan have difficulty understanding each other.

Even though we have different identities, the feelings of helplessness and sadness that arise from the conflict between self and love are universal.

This film shows society’s concept of gender in love relationships.